Monologue of A Lost Child

While going through my files today, I found the poem below.  It is not my writing.  It is by an unknown author, that I thought was worth posting.

By an Author unknown:

I’m struggling to do the right thing
I want to serve the Lord
I want to commit to Him
Man, why is it so hard?

I was raised in the church
Sunday school and service on Sundays
Prayer meetings on Wednesday’s
Bible study on Thursdays
My mom even made me attend prayer breakfast on Saturdays
So why is it so hard?

I know I need better
I know He can offer more
But still I don’t want to give in.

What am I really going to miss if I convert from being a sinner?
Come on now it’s the same thing everyday
Go holler at my girls, have a couple drinks
May go to the club; see the same people doing the same thing

Man I know he can offer me better, so why am I so scared to know Him.

The scary thing should be
If I die right now, where will I go?

Yea, I may see some of my friends down there
But we darn sure won’t be clapping it up in smiles.
A matter of fact, it won’t be fun at all.
Eternal life with no laughing, no smiling, no fun
I know He has more to offer.

See now I’m sad
I’m thinking of all those I lost
And how I lost them
and where they are now.

For instant, my god-brother
He has good peeps
He looked out for everyone he knew,
Always had a smile on his face
And no matter what club I was in
I knew I could run into him.

Then one day I get a call too early in the morning
My god-brother been shot outside the local after hours spot
And he ain’t going to make it.
What’s really messed up is
Even though he kept a smile on his face
And always looked out
He didn’t surrender to God
And led his life in the dope game
I hope in his last seconds he came to know Him
Cause there is no smiling in hell.

With all this death around me
And knowing where my life is leading
Why still do I fear knowing Him?

Lord, I wanna know you
I want that guarantee of
Eternal laughter
Eternal smiles
Please help me Lord, I need you
I surrender now.

Author Unknown